The art of not giving up

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My mother once told me a story of a man who was in search of a new career. This man had been looking for a job for a few years but to no avail. After many months he finally got an interview for a role, which he attended. However, after waiting a few weeks to hear back there was no news as to whether he got the role. Through his frustration and depression he decided to take his life. A few days after his death his landlord received a letter addressed to him saying he got the job.  

What I take from this story is change could be just around the corner, and just when you give up, you miss it.  I’ve had times when I should have just given up, there were times when I didn’t see any light.  Yet I’m adamant that change is just around the corner for me, but I’m human and sometimes giving up has its allure.

One must understand that life is a long continuous stream of events, where you learn and live. The more you learn the wiser you become. The more you live the more you absorb. Without any of these notions life becomes stagnant, you take the backseat to your own life and leave it for the world to decide your place.

The art of not giving up lies between your will to persevere and the belief that you will make it. It’s human nature to feel rejected and for your mind to begin to doubt your own ability. If none of these things passed your mind, you’re better person than you think! But if you have, it’s all right, just know nothing is infinite but it takes you to make it so.

1.     Decide – you have to make your mind up, you’ve got to decide what exactly you want to get from life.

2.     Research – sometimes you’re not sold on your decision or you need more details, researching will benefit you.

3.     Develop – See what you have to do to get there; do you need to go to school, do you have to do a course? How can you develop yourself to get there?

4.     Goals – set yourself goals that you feel you can achieve, making note the steps you have to do to get there.

5.     Believe – Without the belief in yourself all other steps seem irrelevant, and believing in yourself for some people is the hardest thing in the world (know you are not alone).

6.     Apply – from all the above points you should be able to apply this to your everyday lifestyle whether it’s in job-searching, thinking of a new career path or deciding to study. 

My own inner struggle is my self-doubt; in my life I’ve always felt inadequate. To this day I’m still learning to believe, but I know what I want from this life and I know that I won’t stop till I get there.
My advice for you is to be strong when weakness may overcome you and to be believe even when no one else does. Find your drive and don’t give up!

DIY: The Bedroom Project Part 1

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For the past five years my room hasn’t been redecorated and according to my mother ‘You won’t be moving out anytime soon’, therefore I’ve decided to embrace this. I’m going to decorate my room the way I think a twenty-something year old bedroom should look like…

Not too sure what exactly that is, but I know for a FACT my bedroom is not it. To understand my bedroom, I’ve got to take you back to 2010– I had just got back from living in the Caribbean for two years, the room I left was no longer the same. Leaving, my room was this awful blue/grey coloured, which did nothing for the space except make it depressing. I don’t have any good photos of it unfortunately– but believe me when I say it was as dismal as it sounds.

In 2010 I came back to a light cream room, the same bedframe, my chest of draws and my beloved wicker chair. It was practically just… practical and that was it, my eighteen year old self only knew one way to decorate and hello magazine pages, hello bluetack and hello wall! I recruited a friend and together we made my little fashion wall of: sex, drugs and rock and roll! It was amazing for about 5 months…then I started university and I wanted something that was a bit cool but still fun and bright but not so eighteenie (if that’s even a word).

Hello rocknroll psoter wall!

So with my beloved student loan (the most cash I’ve had in me life), my mum and my sister and her little car all went to Ikea and bought a desk; that was my first move and probably the wisest, I mean hello university, hello desk do you see the correlation? By the end of the first year I also got a glorified bedside table, which is basically 5 things at once:
1) Magazine shelf
2) Bedside table
3) Draws full of unknown junk
4) Stack of books and paper table
5) Cup and plate collector

Just believe me it was so damn useful! By the start of my second year I had: a desk, a computer to put on my desk, a bedside table and obviously the same furniture which already there. My bedframe however, seriously needed an update, subsequently I bought my second choice frame, when I say second choice, the bed frame of my dreams was £500+ (the sort of money I did not care to loose) so I got the other. After that nothing much had changed, I added some butterfly stickers, moved my posters around and that was it. I wasn’t happy though–  I didn’t like the flow of my room and I still don’t.

My room two years ago

Last summer I decided to make a big change and took down all my self-made posters because I just thought well, I’m not a teenager anymore I need frames, not bluetack!
Off went the posters, my room felt naked without them– but also a little mature and then this April I decided that the butterflies needed to go to. The butterflies were the hardest, because I initially put them up after something really personal happened. For me the butterflies resembled the person I wanted to be and the freedom I wanted. The butterflies did their job and I felt this year I was ready to let them go.
What I’m left with is a very pale, blank space, almost similar to 2010... except dirtier walls. After having this epiphany, I’ve decided to make a ‘Bedroom fund’,  essentially I plan to save and buy something towards making my room MY ROOM. And I really want to do this myself, upcycling, decorating the whole shebang!

So at present this is what my room looks like:

And here is the current floor plan:

I found some inspirational images to help me put it together:

And here’s the plan I’m aiming for:

Here’s is my business SMART plan (google it if you are unsure what it is)

Specific- Decorate my room to a very high standard with also using a small amount of money to complete it with.
Measurable- Measured by how much I do not want to leave my room after it’s done up!
Achievable- It is very possible for me to complete project if I do something every other month! Next few months I will focus on buying paint for walls and upcycling my chest of draws.
Realistic- Every month put £10 a side or more depending how much I can spare and buy something towards the room.
Time bound- I have until I’m 25 hopefully less!

Follow my bedroom journey while I turn this into a goddess of a room ;)

Best Buys of 2015 So Far...

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For the past 6 months, I have collected a few key pieces that I absolutely adore!  I've chosen 9 of my best buys to show, it's kind of like a budget haul! Remember I did not purchase all these things all at once it's been over the course of the past 6 months!!

I bought these boots in the spring sale at Topshop, they are biker style and also real leather. I'm still breaking them in, but as they are leather it should mould into shape soon. I remember the struggle when I first bought my DR. Martens, it took me months to break into. I've been wearing them with straight fit jeans rolled up and midi skirts, they are really great for putting that extra edginess to an outfit. The original price I believe were £60 and it went down to £30. 

This oversized jumper from GAP gives me life!!! I just love it! I wear it mostly with jeans or leggings and it's really comfortable and versatile, its nice and warm and can be warn in chilly summer days in England without a coat. I think it's perfect for this unpredictable summer we've been having! My mum bought this for me as a birthday present but I think it was on sale for £17, which is a great price because it has fantastic quality. 


 You could basically say I'm a confessed shoeholic, shoes are such a easy way to take a normal outfit to the next level. These beauties are from New Look, I saw them in March in the 'last chance to buy' shelf but unfortunately they didn't have it in my size, I went to a few stores but to no avail! It was only after I came back from my holiday I found them online and instantly bought them, they were £19.99 and worth it. It's such a statement sandal and they really stand out with the neon orange against the snake print! *Note New Look do an amazing wide feet collection so check it out!!

This is my little spend but super cute buy, I bought this from Primark as a little shopper bag, it's just one of those things that catch your eye. I'm a sucker for a quirky slogan and print and come on who doesn't like Unicorns?!? This was £1 and I pretty much use it for grocery shopping or when it's at home a poster holder as shown! 

Another Primark buy is this jumpsuit, I've never ever, ever, ever worn a jumpsuit in my life bar as a child. The thing about jumpsuits for me is, I have this stigmatism that they are all made for skinny people and not for girls with curves... but hear me now as I declare myself wrong! This is my favourite item of clothing, it just suits me soooooooo much. I always get so many compliments when I wear it. What I've learnt about jumpsuits is that you have to wear them in your right size especially if you're curvy. I think fitted jumpsuits work better for me because it shows off my assets while as a baggy fit only makes me look like a house! Because the V in this jumpsuit is quite deep and I'm not 100% sure I'm confident to wear it out just like that, I wear either a simple black vest or white one. I can't remember the price but it wasn't more than £20. 

I've been eyeing up this Topshop bag for months now, as my everyday bag was nearing it's death. It was £36 but I rarely buy bags full priced so I waited patiently for this to go down in the sale, in which it did!!! It's amazing with its lovely sort of dusty blue/green colour and the standout croc-print middle panel. It's completely on trend, and what I love about it is the size; I'm so over the big tote bags, what I want is small cute bags, so I don't fill it up with unnecessary things. I'm all about saving my shoulders, remember school days with the huge rucksack, ugh never again!  

The iphone 6, I'm a apple girl and always have been, in my house we've always had Mac computers in fact I've only owned one PC ever in my life. My Dad who is a publisher has always used Apples and thus I've grown up knowing the system like the back of my hand. I got my first iphone two years ago it was the 4S and it was amazing then, but the Iphone 6 for me tops it. I didn't know how much I was missing a large screen until I got my hands on the 6. It's amazing and I'm super happy I was able to upgrade to this piece of amazing technology.

My new metallic pink purse from Topshop is obviously the best thing since sliced bread, I bought a really boring black purse two months ago I was trying to figure out if I could handle the boring life. I came to the conclusion that no I can't and had to buy this hot babe on sale for £5. 

Lastly is my converses which I bought back in march, don't let their grim appearance fool you they are only 3 months old. I was told on holiday in Trinidad that they were too clean and that I should dirty them up. On my return to the UK they were pretty much as grungy as possible only to have my UK homies tell me they needed a wash! I can't win can I? I have them placed on my dirty washing as a reminder to wash em! White converses are always in style and I would consider them a fashion staple, it's definitely a must have for summer. 

Tell me what you think of my purchases!!!!

Are You That Somebody?

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Anxiety, depression, and low self esteem these all things people would rather brush under the carpet as non-existent conditions and some even worse people would say it's an excuse for attention. In my generation a lot of young idols have confessed to some of these conditions such as: youtuber Zoella (Zoe Sugg), actress Lavern Cox and rapper Kendrick Lamar. With so many people confessing to these conditions why is it still considered a taboo subject?

In real, society will deem anything about vulnerability as a weakness and unfortunately having anxiety, depression and low self esteem is all collected as a weakness. NOBODY WANTS TO BE WEAK, RIGHT? When you're applying for a job you would never write 'I suffer from anxiety' because of course future employers wouldn't want to hire anyone who is a liability they want ambitions individuals who will be sure to turn up to work everyday. It's the sad but painful truth, of how your condition can been seen as "unprofessional". According to the Mental Health statistics in the UK, 1 in every five people suffer from depression! That's quite a high statistic meaning there is someone in every work place who is dealing with their depression, and maybe even has to hide it from colleagues and employers.

What many people misinterpret these conditions as being on a single spectrum, beliefs that there is only one type of severity people can suffer in also promotes this conception. Anxiety is quite normal in some people, everyone feels nervous or anxious at some point, however not everyone's anxiety can be measured in the same way. There are folks that can't even step on a bus because they suffer from extreme social anxiety. And depression,  society think depression always equates to suicide; here's the thing you can be depressed but not want to take your life either! Imagine the strain of having very low self esteem, that it holds you back from applying for jobs or even being able to look at your self in the mirror? There is such a big scale in which these conditions can be measured, yet most people will have tunnel vision and not see the light.

What I'm trying to say is there should be more of a public understanding of these conditions, there should be more of an acceptance. Why should someone feel ashamed of their condition because everyone else would think of them as weak? While talking to a friend one day they expressed how there were some days her social anxiety stopped her from going to work, and there were times she had to force herself in because the fear of being sacked loomed on her. It got me thinking, should their be a law on how people and their mental issues effect them at work? Turns out there is a very wishy-washy law "The Disability Discrimination Act that came into force in 1995 outlaws much discrimination against disabled people in employment. Many people with or who have recovered from mental health problems are covered by it. To be covered you must have a 'clinically well-recognised mental illness' that is long-term (ie. has lasted, or is expected to last, at least 12 months, or is recurrent, or is likely to last for the rest of the person's life) and has a substantial effect on your ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities." meaning if you have not been medically diagnosed of having a mental issue, you could be sacked. What about those afraid to be diagnosed because of beliefs of others, religion and embarrassment?

Do think there should be leniency in the work place for sufferers and do think it's fair you could be sacked if you're not able to medically prove your illness?

Are you that somebody that suffers alone?

Beauty Fave's

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I'm not really the most richest person, but what money I have I like to buy really affordable beauty products! So these are my best buys so far: 

The Body Shop slection from left: Body Shop facial brush, Body Shop Vitamin E Facial wash and Body Shop warming mineral mask.

I really love using the vit e face wash, I use it with the facial brush my skin feels really nice and refreshed after using it. I don't have really bad acne prone skin, however I have really big pores and I wouldn't say this combo combats it. Ideally I would love to try out the Foreo Luna with this face wash and see if that could help. I've heard so many great things about the Foreo, sadly I'm not able to afford it as it's almost £200!
Foreo Luna
The warming mineral mask is amazing; I was super doubtful when trying this but I quickly changed my mind when I put the first bit of warmness silky-clay on me' face! It was such a bizarre feeling, but it was really relaxing I mostly use once a week when I want a bath. It kinda leaves a kinda grey cast on your face after but a good moisturiser will get rid of it.  

Mixed selection from left: homemade face moisturiser, Garnier Miscellar cleansing water and St Ives apricot scrub invigorating
I'm really unlucky when it comes to finding something that suits my skin type, I have both oily/dry skin, it's usually really oily around my T zone and dry around my mouth. So I decided that I would make my own; I'm still testing it out but so far it's been amazing! I'm going to give you a sneak peek into its ingredients: it has both Aloe Vera and Vitamin E toner. This potion I have made has left me with a super moisturised face, and it feels softer and a hell of a lot firmer! I will be giving a more detailed update in up and coming weeks! A dream buy would be Kiehl's Ultra Face Moisturiser but I also can't afford that =(, I tested it last month and I completely adored how it felt, it felt like having a primer on my face! 

I'm just going to say wow, where has miscellar water been my whole life?!? Until now I've been using face wipes *hides face in shame* which as you all know it's not particularly good. I've been using miscellar water for about a week now and I'm amazed of how soft it leaves my face; it's literally like washing your face with water, except it actually gets eye makeup off!!! I don't think I will ever go back to anything else! I bough this at Boots for £3.42 it was on special offer it's really nice size too for what you get. Can I say that the packaging is so beautiful too, reminds me off an actual water bottle but don't drink this one! My last beauty fave is St Ives facial scrub, I've been using this since I was about 16 and I love it, I've never used anything else so it's hard to compare it to anything else. It's really good at smoothing out my face and exfoliating it. I recently came back from my holiday and unfortunately my tan began to peel =( I used this to help get rid of my peeling skin! So those are my top beauty faves!! Also if anyone knows anything to shrink pores let me know =)

The Explorer

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             The Explorer

The Explorer by zowealice featuring watercolour paintings

Tis' the season to travel, (if you have the money of course) and I'm going to talk you through finding your dream destination, booking,  packing process, traveling and exploring the country! Here are my best tips when going it alone:  

What's the perfect place to Explore?

So you've been working your ass off for months to save for a holiday and now you want to choose where exactly you want to go. The best way to choose is to make sure you're aware of your budget, how long you want to stay and how you would like to travel there. The best thing to do right now is to research, research and research!  If you want a cheapish holiday, but still want a good time maybe type in your search engine 'cheap holidays'. Once you've found a reasonable place to go for the price, say you've chosen Berlin, Germany; you now have to note what exactly you want to get from your holiday; do you want to party? Relax? Explore a different culture? All the above? Research more into what your destination can give you, if none of the criteria fits then it's not the holiday for you. Let's say that yes, Berlin is exactly what you want and you want to explore and party.

Make that booking

Time to book, maybe think about either booking through a holiday agency to find all inclusive deals  or do a little more research maybe find a room to rent for your stay. Most of the time it's cheaper than staying in a hotel. If you think you're barely going to be at your accommodation, why not try a hostel? So you've decided not to go through a holiday agency and you've booked a flight for £65 and found a room to rent for one week. You need to decide how you will get to your accommodation wether by coach, asking the owners' of accommodation to pick you up or get a good ole' taxi.  I would say since you've found a reasonable flight and accommodation, why not treat yourself to a taxi ride!

Packing Away your life

As you've decided on how long you're staying on holiday your suitcase should more or less mirror that. If you're staying a week up to 10 days, maybe having a small suitcase would do you. But If you're staying for two weeks a medium sized suitcase, only and I mean only if you're staying 4-6 weeks take a large suitcase. Under no circumstances should you be packing a large suitcase for one week! Large suitcases can put you in danger of being overweight when checking-in, please be careful as being a kilogram over may cost you up to £20 pounds!!
So you've decided to bring a small suitcase and one reasonable size hand luggage, well done! Now here's how to know what to pack; know the sort of weather you're going into, you don't want to pack t-shirts and shorts and it's freezing! So research into the current weather and pick clothes that are suitable! Don't pack 4 pairs of similar shoes, try to pack a variety of things that you can wear on many occasions. For example you have a lovely little black dress that can be worn out casually or to party, accessorising outfits is key! Remember less is more!


So you're nearly there all you have to do is get to the airport and on that plane! Make sure you know how you are getting there, travel blunders aren't that great! If you're booking a cab/taxi make sure you book in advance, also if you're slumming it and taking transport be sure to miss rush hour, you definitely do not want to miss you're plane because the tube was late!! And please do not forget to bring your passport and ticket! Key note: always and I mean always check to make sure your passport has not expired before you book a holiday!

OK, time to Explore
You're finally here, you've made it to Berlin now you want to explore and party, but you're not sure how?!? Think about the way you'd like to travel around, do you want to rent a car, a bike, take local transport. I would least recommend taking a taxi as it will make exploring very limited as you're relying on someone else. Which ever you choose establish you have the correct documents and money at hand! So you've chosen to use transport, now get familiar with using a map! Since everyone these days has smartphones, ensure you've got googlemaps app! I'm sure googlemaps has saved a couple lives already. Another app which may come of use is a translator app, they may not be the best but you can ask simple questions when the going gets tough! The last thing you want is to be totally flabbergasted with the inability to communicate to others! Remember english isn't everyone's first language! Now once we've got over that maybe make a to-do list of what you want to do everyday, be realistic don't list ten things you want to check off, recognise that you will get lost a few times and you won't be able to do everything because of it. Instead list a few things you can achieve within the day; go shopping, visit cathedrals and then at night, party!  Here's a few suggestions of things to do: find out more about culture in that area; try local delicacies, visit museums, go on embarrassing tours! Just don't get yourself bored! Try and make a friend when you go out, it might be helpful to ask them good places to go!

All in all just try to enjoy yourself, it's a holiday so be free, be you and stay safe!


October/November Haul

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I usually never have any money whatsoever to do hauls and even this is a very small haul. So I begin with my first purchase of October, I blogged about it on my day with Grazia magazine but on that same day I bought a Zara perfume. The perfume is called Zara with Love, I actually smelt it at the beginning of the year but didn't have the money to buy it then. The bottle smells overly sweet with hints of romance and love, I know how can something smell like love and romance? But seriously it does, it smells like the sort of perfume you would wear on a date (inside secret: my boyfriend loves it). When it comes to buying high st perfumes, I literally only shop at Zara; they have the best non-designer scents ever! Zara with Love is also such a bargain at only £12.99 for 60ml!
Zara with Love

 Mid to ending of October I bought three Model's own beauty products, there was a special offer at their pop-up shop I think the deal was buy six items for £20, so me and my friend split it I bought three she bought her own three. I picked two nail varnishes and a mascara! I haven't bought nail varnishes in ages I think the last time was about a year and half ago maybe more. The last nail varnish I bought was a black Barry M one, but you could say I was in need of an update! I chose two very nude colours because they are very on trend at the moment and they look very luxxxxx ;) The two colours I got were Hyper Gel Naked Glow and Nude Beige they usually cost £4.99 so I think major bargain!!! To round off the deal I bought a mascara, right I haven't bought a mascara since 2010 (eeeekkk) I know I have broken the beauty no owning beauty products for more than a year code! Heck if I had money to throw away I would totally obey but poor ole me can't, but back to the story I bought the mascara and it's actually not that bad at all! It's called Mascara Big Brush and that is exactly what it is, it's really quite handy for really pushing the length of your eyelashes! The mascara is marketed at £5.99 so getting three products for ten pounds aint that bad at all!

Models Own mascara and nail varnishes 

As that day was sort of like a beauty product day I also got this Mac lipstick called Retro, I absolutely adore Mac lipsticks I now own five shades; retro is a really nice dark mauve colour, I initially went in for Velvet Teddy but I found it was quite similar to a colour I already have. I really love their matte range because I have big lips already I find glossed lipsticks make mine look very strange, so when I bought Retro I was slightly two sided because it's not matte but I was surprised how I could work it. To make it a bit more matte I add some eye shadow and bit of lip liner. All Mac lipsticks cost £15.50 but they are genuinely worth every penny!  
Mac lipstick Retro Shade
That was all the the things I bought for October, so bring on November Haul! I have been patiently awaiting the Alexander Wang X H&M collab since I heard about it in april, so fast forward to beginning of this month you could say I was sooooooooo excited! Now, even though I desperately wanted to buy something I am not by any means one of those people who would camp outside the stores until they open the door to chaos. HELL NO! So the next best thing is shopping online, now have in mind I've never bought any designer colabs from H&M before, so I didn't have a single clue what to expect while shopping online. I had a kind of idea what I wanted to buy and a few backup ideas too, so the night before the official launch day NOV 6th I set my alarm for 8.30 am, because of the excitement of the night before I slept through my alarm and awoke to a glorious 9.14 am! I shot up like a bolt of lightening and dashed to my computer. As soon as I got on the H&M site it kept crashing, I was literally like WTF!!! This was not what I was expecting at all so after an hour of refreshing and waiting very impatiently all the things I wanted were sold out
:( except my last option my yoga mat! So I bought it, it cost £39.99 but I was absolutely disappointed I couldn't get my first options which was the Wang scuba top and the Wang T-shirt dress. 

Alexander WangX H&M yoga mat

But I was really happy at least I was able to get my yoga mat! It's really great qualty and the case is amazing and just look at that strap! But anyway on the same day I went on Ebay just to see how much people were selling the other things I wanted,  I was quite depressed when I saw that scuba jumper was bidding at £100+ I even saw one for £250, my heart dropped so fast, I then checked out the t-shirt dress and that was fetching for £80+ and my heart dropped even further. Both the jumper and t-shirt were both selling for £34.99 so I was a bit defeated to see those scoring prices! Moving on since last year I've been pining for a pair of Nike Air Sky Hi Revolution, but they are as expected very very very very pricey at £110 for a pair, as you know I aint no rich bitch so I've been waiting for them to go down in the sale. So I got my chance on Nov 10th when I saw Office selling them at £66 but they only had them in a size 8, I'm a size 7 usually but I had read that the sizing were sometimes smaller so I went ahead and bought it. When these babies arrived I was soooooo happy that they only had a size 8 left because surprise surprise they fit perfectly! I'm actually in love with them, they are super comfortable and I've gone to work in them and worked all day and gives you that extra bit of height. My only problem was that they are white and it's such an effort to keep them that colour, thank god I've got baby wipes handy lol! 

Nike Sky Hi Revolution 
So last but not least I go back to Alexander Wang, as I was feeling super sad about not getting not a single item of clothing from one of fave designers; I was moaning about it one sad evening to my flat mate. Just to show her the sort of prices people were selling the merch as, I spotted the t-shirt dress selling for £45!!!! WTF!!! I literally just saw someone win that exact same one for £90 and I was like this has to be a mistake! With my friends approval I quickly bought the t-shirt and I'm still in shock that I actually scored it for £45 only a mere £10 more than the original selling price!!! I've got to say good things happen to those who wait! It looks soo amazing on and now I can finally say I own something from Alexander Wang... well two things actually! So that's it I've broken my bank and I won't be doing any shopping for a long time! 
Alexander WangX H&M T-shirt dress

Tell me what you think about my purchases?!?   

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